Another year has passed, and, unsurprising to those that know me, so far it feels the same as all the other years before. It's another year where I promise that this year, finally this will be the time. Finally I will take those chances dogging me, take the less travelled but more fulfilling road, finally I will see the light of inspiration, finally those reasons I had for not doing … (insert random healthy activity or life changing idea here ) will disappear. Only I'm not yet inspired. I'm starting this year out so far with fear, and worry, and a dash of insecurity, just for consistency's sake. My job is at risk, my friendships are fewer, and my wrinkles have shown more growth than my pension. I'm just in a state of negative flux, hoping for ... something else.
I try, believe it or not, to roll with life's changes as much as possible. I don't think there's a limit to what the human spirit can accomplish if given the right reason and fuel. But how do you magic up inspiration and reason to do what you believe will better you, when you have no history of consistency? No history of those betters actually bettering you, just the fear of the unknown that follows you with everything you do and say. How do you manage to find that spirit deep inside if that spirit has never existed within you?
I swore when I started this blog - if random posting could be considered blog like - that I would be honest. And I didn't want anything excessively negative. The last thing I wanted to be was a less positive, certainly less rhyming Morrissey. But I'm really struggling. Only time will tell if I can get out of my funk. Wish me virtual luck.
